i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
