I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
