is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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