it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
