I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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