Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
