i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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