I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
