I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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