is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
