Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This toilet bowl is my home.
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