I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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