Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Randomize
