i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
