oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize