Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
