i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
