Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
