I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
