Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
