just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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