the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
