I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
love makes seman taste better
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
MIDGETS
????
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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