So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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