Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
