Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
we should paint friendship bongs
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