If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My life is pants optional.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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