dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
