It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
