I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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