Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
