I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
