like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
