can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
