That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
