You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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