Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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