hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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