What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
