Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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