I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
