I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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