did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i think i just lost a toe
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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