Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
