I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
