Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
