yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize