Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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