I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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