You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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