i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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