This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
