Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize