Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he quoted the bible to break up with me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
