Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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