I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
