So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
