he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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