Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
