what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize