Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Randomize
