The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
