Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
