hotel room ftw
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
