i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Holy sore nipples Batman
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
