I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
